In my mind, it's permanently etched - meeting Leah for the first time (I was so nervous to meet her and wanted her to like us so badly!) I remember she had on black capri, baggy pants that she continued to wear before and after her pregnancy. She would tease that those were the only pants she wore). We ate dinner at your house that night. I remember Brian came over and I believe we met Caleb and Olivia that night. Caleb had some kind of brace or cast on his foot at that time. From the minute I met her, I loved her. If I could have, I would have followed her all around the house and everywhere she went!:)
It was always the case with Leah - that I wanted to be around her as much as possible when she was around. I felt such a connection with her and such deep, deep gratitude for her that I appreciated any time I had to see her. She was easy-going, laid back, and just fun to be around. I loved that people said we looked like sisters and thought that was such a compliment. As we were looking at pictures of Leah the other night with Bristol, he pointed at them and said, "Mama!" (He doesn't yet realize who Leah is in his life.) He thought he was looking at pictures of me!:)
I distinctly remember seeing her just after she delivered Bristol. We were anxiously waiting for her in her hospital room when they rolled her in. She had all of her makeup on (I remember her saying that you told her to wear her makeup that day).:) She had on her hospital cap. She was smiling and just looked beautiful. I remember telling her how beautiful she looked and she just smiled. I checked on her many times over the next few days. We both took turns feeding Bristol and changing his diapers. When she was done with her turn, she would text me and say, "Bristol is free to be loved." I remember the day she checked out of the hospital and the day she signed her rights away. She handed me Bristol's paperwork in an envelope she had decorated with hearts and cute lettering. She handed me the hospital bag provided by the hospital and everything else to do with Bristol. As we met at LDS Family Services for the signing, I felt such joy at having Bristol and such sadness for the pain I saw in Leah's eyes, and for her tears.
After we went back to Arizona, Leah and I continued to communicate a lot through text. After a while, it slowly tapered off. I always just wanted to be a good friend to her/almost like a sister and be a good influence in her life.
Leah has been a huge part of our life. Not only did she give us our son, but she is also a part of him! How can I not have a deep love and gratitude for someone who played such a HUGE role in my life?!! There is a special, different bond between a birth mother and an adoptive mother. There is no one else who can ever say they are the mother to Bristol....except Leah. She was always so respectful of that relationship and made it such a joy to share the title of "mother" to Bristol. My love for her is hard to explain.....it is a bond and a love that will never go away and stays with me every time I look at Bristol, see him walk like her, see his beautiful eyes, and hug him so close and so tight....because I cannot believe what a blessing he is and because I am so thankful for the beautiful angel who gave him to us...forever changing our lives now and forever.
We love Leah!!!
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